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五十度灰英文版 - Part II 11
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  Jack cocks his head to one side as he leans in toward
  me, invading my personal space—again.
  “You’re being very coy, Ana.”
  “Well, he’s in telecommunications, manufacturing, and
  agriculture.”
  Jack raises his eyebrows. “So many things. Who does
  he work for?”
  “He works for himself. If you’re happy with the
  document, I’d like to go, if that’s okay?”
  He leans back. My personal space is safe again.
  “Of course. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you,” he says
  disingenuously.
  “What time does the building close?”
  “Security is here until eleven.”
  “Good.” I smile, and my subconscious flops down in
  her armchair, relieved to know that we are not alone in the
  building. Switching off my computer, I grab my purse and
  stand up, ready to leave.
  stand up, ready to leave.
  “You like him then? Your boyfriend?”
  “I love him,” I answer, looking Jack squarely in the
  eye.
  “I see.” Jack frowns and he stands up from my desk.
  “What’s his surname?”
  I flush.
  “Grey. Christian Grey,” I mumble.
  Jack’s mouth drops open. “Seattle’s richest bachelor?
  That Christian Grey?”
  “Yes. The same.” Yes, that Christian Grey, your future
  boss who will have you for breakfast if you invade my
  personal space again.
  “I thought he looked familiar,” Jack says darkly and his
  brow creases again. “Well, he’s a lucky man.”
  I blink at him. What do I say to that?
  “Have a good evening, Ana.” Jack smiles, but the smile
  doesn’t touch his eyes, and he walks stiffly back into his
  office without a backward glance.
  I let out a long sigh of relief. Well, that problem might
  be solved. Fifty works his magic again. Just his name is my
  talisman, and it has this man retreating with his tail between
  his legs. I allow myself a small victorious smile. You see,
  Christian? Even your name protects me—you didn’t
  have to go to all that trouble of clamping down on
  expenses. I tidy my desk and check my watch. Christian
  should be outside.
  The Audi is parked up against the sidewalk, and
  Taylor leaps out to open the rear passenger door. I have
  never been so pleased to see him, and I scramble into the
  never been so pleased to see him, and I scramble into the
  car out of the rain.
  Christian is in the rear seat, gazing at me, his eyes wide
  and wary. He’s bracing himself for my anger, his jaw tight
  and tense.
  “Hi,” I murmur.
  “Hi,” he replies cautiously. He reaches over and grasps
  my hand, squeezing it tightly, and my heart thaws a little.
  I’m so confused. I haven’t even worked out what I need
  to say to him.
  “Are you still mad?” he asks.
  “I don’t know,” I murmur. He raises my hand and
  lightly grazes my knuckles with soft butterfly kisses.
  “It’s been a shitty day,” he says.
  “Yes, it has.” But for the first time since he left for
  work this morning, I begin to relax. Just being in his
  company is a soothing balm, and all the shit from Jack, and
  the snarky e-mails to and fro, and the nuisance that is
  Elena fade into the background. It’s just me and my
  control freak in the back of the car.
  “It’s better now that you’re here,” he murmurs. We sit
  in silence as Taylor weaves through the evening traffic,
  both of us brooding and contemplative; but I feel Christian
  slowly unwind beside me as he, too, relaxes, gently running
  his thumb across my knuckles in a soft, soothing rhythm.
  Taylor drops us outside the apartment building, and we
  both duck inside, out of the rain. Christian clasps my hand
  as we wait for the elevator, his eyes scanning the front of
  the building.
  “I take it you haven’t found Leila yet.”
  “I take it you haven’t found Leila yet.”
  “No. Welch is still looking for her,” he mutters
  despondently.
  The elevator arrives and in we step. Christian glances
  down at me, his gray eyes unreadable. Oh, he just looks
  glorious—tousled hair, white shirt, dark suit. And suddenly
  it’s there, from nowhere, that feeling. Oh my—the longing,
  the lust, the electricity. If it were visible, it would be an
  intense blue aura around and between us it’s so strong. His
  lips part as he gazes at me.
  “Do you feel it?” he breathes.
  “Yes.”
  “Oh, Ana.” He groans and he grabs me, his arms
  snaking around me, one hand at the nape of my neck,
  tipping my head back as his lips find mine. My fingers are
  in his hair and caressing his cheek as he pushes me back
  against the elevator wall.
  “I hate arguing with you,” he breathes against my
  mouth, and there’s a desperate, passionate quality to his
  kiss that mirrors mine. Desire explodes in my body, all the
  tension of the day seeking an outlet, straining against him,
  seeking more. We’re all tongues and breathing and hands
  and touch and sweet, sweet sensation. His hand is on my
  hip, and abruptly he’s pulling up my skirt, his fingers
  stroking my thighs.
  “Sweet Jesus, you’re wearing stockings.” He moans in
  appreciative awe as his thumb caresses the flesh above my
  stocking line. “I want to see this,” he breathes, and he pulls
  my skirt right up, exposing the tops of my thighs.
  Stepping back, he reaches over to press the stop
  Stepping back, he reaches over to press the stop
  button, and the elevator coasts smoothly to a halt between
  the twenty-second and twenty-third floors. His eyes are
  dark, lips parted, and he’s breathing as hard as am I. We
  gaze at each other, not touching. I am grateful for the wall
  against my back, holding me up while I bask in this
  beautiful man’s sensual, carnal appraisal.
  “Take your hair down,” he orders, his voice husky. I
  reach up and undo the tie, releasing my hair so it tumbles in
  a thick cloud around my shoulders to my breasts. “Undo
  the top two buttons of your shirt,” he whispers, his eyes
  wilder now.
  He makes me feel so wanton. My inner goddess is
  writhing on her chaise longue, waiting, wanting, and
  panting. I reach up and undo each button, achingly, slowly,
  so that the tops of my breasts are tantalizingly revealed.
  He swallows. “Do you have any idea how alluring you
  look right now?”
  Very deliberately, I bite my lip and shake my head. He
  closes his eyes briefly, and when he opens them again,
  they are blazing. He steps forward and places his hands on
  the elevator walls on either side of my face. He’s as close
  as he can be without touching me.
  I tip my face up to meet his gaze, and he leans down
  and runs his nose against mine, so it’s the only contact
  between us. I am so hot in the confines of this elevator
  with him. I want him—now.
  “I think you do, Miss Steele. I think you like to drive
  me wild.”
  “Do I drive you wild?” I whisper.
  “Do I drive you wild?” I whisper.
  “In all things, Anastasia. You are a siren, a goddess.”
  And he reaches for me, grasping my leg above my knee
  and hitching it around his waist, so that I am standing on
  one leg, leaning into him. I feel him against me, feel him
  hard and wanting above the apex of my thighs as he runs
  his lips down my throat. I moan and wrap my arms around
  his neck.
  “I’m going to take you now, Anastasia,” he breathes
  and I arch my back in response, pressing myself against
  him, eager for the friction. He groans deep and low in the
  back of his throat and boosts me higher as he undoes his
  fly.
  “Hold tight, baby,” he murmurs, and magically
  produces a foil packet that he holds in front of my mouth. I
  take it between my teeth, and he tugs, so that between us,
  we rip it open.
  “Good girl.” He steps back a fraction as he slides on
  the condom. “God, I can’t wait for the next six days,” he
  growls and gazes down at me through hooded eyes. “I do
  hope you’re not overly fond of these panties.” He tears
  through them with his adept fingers, and they disintegrate in
  his hands. My blood is pounding through my veins. I am
  panting with need.
  His words are intoxicating, all my angst from the day
  forgotten. It’s just him and me, doing what we do best.
  Without taking his eyes off mine, he sinks slowly into me.
  My body bows and I tilt my head back, closing my eyes,
  relishing the feel of him inside me. He pulls back and then
  moves into me again, so slow, so sweet. I groan.
  “You’re mine, Anastasia,” he murmurs against my
  throat.
  “Yes. Yours. When will you accept that?” I pant. He
  groans and starts to move, really move. And I surrender
  myself to his relentless rhythm, savoring each push and
  pull, his ragged breathing, his need for me, reflecting mine.
  It makes me feel powerful, strong, desired and loved
  —loved by this captivating, complicated man, whom I love
  in return with all my heart. He pushes harder and harder,
  his breathing ragged, losing himself in me as I lose myself in
  him.
  “Oh, baby,” Christian moans, his teeth grazing my jaw,
  and I come hard around him. He stills, clutches me, and
  follows suit, whispering my name.
  Now that Christian is spent, calm and kissing me gently,
  his breathing eases. He holds me upright against the
  elevator wall, our foreheads pressed together, and my
  body is like jelly, weak but gratifyingly sated from my
  climax.
  “Oh, Ana,” he murmurs. “I need you so much.” He
  kisses my forehead.
  “And I you, Christian.”
  Releasing me, he straightens my skirt and does up the
  two buttons on my shirt, then punches the combination into
  the keypad that starts the elevator again. It rises with a jolt
  so that I reach out and clasp his arms.
  “Taylor will be wondering where we are,” he grins
  lasciviously at me.
  Oh crap. I drag my fingers through my hair in a vain
  attempt to combat the just-fucked look, then give up and
  tie it in a ponytail.
  “You’ll do.” Christian smirks as he does up his fly and
  puts the condom in his pants pocket.
  Once more he looks the embodiment of an American
  entrepreneur, and since his hair looks just fucked most of
  the time, there’s very little difference. Except now he’s
  smiling, relaxed, his eyes crinkling with boyish charm. Are
  all men this easily placated?
  Taylor is waiting when the doors open.
  “Problem with the elevator,” Christian murmurs as we
  both step out, and I cannot look either of them in the face.
  I scurry through the double doors to Christian’s bedroom
  in search of some fresh underwear.
  When I return, Christian has removed his jacket and is
  sitting at the breakfast bar chatting with Mrs. Jones. She
  smiles kindly at me as she puts out two plates of hot food
  for us. Mmm, it smells delicious—coq au vin, if I am not
  mistaken. I am famished.
  “Enjoy, Mr. Grey, Ana,” she says and leaves us to it.
  Christian fetches a bottle of white wine from the fridge,
  and as we sit and eat, he tells me about how much nearer
  he’s getting to perfecting a solar-powered mobile phone.
  He’s animated and excited about the whole project, and I
  He’s animated and excited about the whole project, and I
  know then that he hasn’t had an entirely shitty day.
  I ask him about his properties. He smirks, and it turns
  out he only has the apartment in New York and Aspen,
  and Escala. Nothing else. When we’re done, I collect his
  plate and mine and take them to sink.
  “Leave that. Gail will do it,” he says. I turn and gaze at
  him, and he’s watching me intently. Will I ever get used to
  having someone clean up after me?
  “Well, now that you are more docile, Miss Steele, shall
  we talk about today?”
  “I think you’re the one who’s more docile. I think I’m
  doing a good job in taming you.”
  “Taming me?” he snorts, amused. When I nod, he
  frowns as if reflecting on my words. “Yes. Maybe you are,
  Anastasia.”
  “You were right about Jack,” I murmur, serious now,
  and I lean across the kitchen island gauging his reaction.
  Christian’s face falls and his eyes harden.
  “Has he tried anything?” he whispers, his voice deathly
  cold.
  I shake my head to reassure him. “No, and he won’t,
  Christian. I told him today that I’m your girlfriend, and he
  backed right off.”
  “You’re sure? I could fire the fucker.” Christian
  scowls.
  I sigh, emboldened by my glass of wine. “You really
  have to let me fight my own battles. You can’t constantly
  second-guess me and try to protect me. It’s stifling,

  Christian. I’ll never flourish with your incessant
  Christian. I’ll never flourish with your incessant
  interference. I need some freedom. I wouldn’t dream of
  meddling in your affairs.”
  He blinks at me. “I only want you safe, Anastasia. If
  anything happened to you, I—” He stops.
  “I know, and I understand why you feel so driven to
  protect me. And part of me loves it. I know that if I need
  you, you’ll be there, as I am for you. But if we are to have
  any hope of a future together, you have to trust me and
  trust my judgment. Yes, I’ll get it wrong sometimes—I’ll
  make mistakes, but I have to learn.”
  He stares at me, his expression anxious, spurring me to
  walk round to him so that I am standing between his legs
  while he sits on the barstool. Grabbing his hands, I put
  them around me and place my hands on his arms.
  “You can’t interfere in my job. It’s wrong. I don’t need
  you charging in like a white knight to save the day. I know
  you want to control everything, and I understand why, but
  you can’t. It’s an impossible goal . . . you have to learn to
  let go.” I reach up and stroke his face as he gazes at me,
  his eyes wide. “And if you can do that—give me that—I’ll
  move in with you,” I add softly.
  He inhales sharply, surprised. “You’d do that?” he
  whispers.
  “Yes.”
  “But you don’t know me.” He frowns and sounds
  choked and panicky all of a sudden, very un-Fifty.
  “I know you well enough, Christian. Nothing you tell
  me about yourself will frighten me away.” I gently run my
  knuckles across his cheek. His expression turns from
  knuckles across his cheek. His expression turns from
  anxious to dubious. “But if you could just ease up on me,”
  I plead.
  “I’m trying, Anastasia. I couldn’t just stand by and let
  you go to New York with that . . . sleazeball. He has an
  alarming reputation. None of his assistants have lasted
  more than three months, and they’re never retained by the
  company. I don’t want that for you, baby.” He sighs. “I
  don’t want anything to happen to you. You being hurt . . .
  the thought fills me with dread. I can’t promise not to
  interfere, not if I think you’ll come to harm.” He pauses
  and takes a deep breath. “I love you, Anastasia. I will do
  everything in my power to protect you. I cannot imagine
  my life without you.”
  Holy cow. My inner goddess, my subconscious, and I
  all gape at Fifty in shock.
  Jeez, three little words. My world stands still, tilts, then
  spins on a new axis; and I savor the moment, gazing into
  his sincere, beautiful gray eyes.
  “I love you, too, Christian.” I lean over and kiss him,
  and the kiss deepens.
  Entering unseen, Taylor clears his throat. Christian pulls
  back, gazing intently at me. He stands, his arm around my
  waist.
  “Yes?” he snaps at Taylor.
  “Mrs. Lincoln is on her way up, sir.”
  “What?”
  Taylor shrugs apologetically. Christian sighs heavily
  and shakes his head.
  “Well, this should be interesting,” he mutters and gives
  “Well, this should be interesting,” he mutters and gives
  me a crooked grin of resignation.
  Fuck! Why can’t that damned woman leave us alone?
  “Yes.”
  “What did you say?”
  “I said that you didn’t want to see her, and that I
  understood your reasons why. I also told her that I didn’t
  appreciate her going behind my back.” His gaze is
  impassive, giving nothing away.
  Oh, good. “What did she say?”
  “She brushed it off in a way that only Elena can.” His
  mouth flattens to a crooked line.
  “Why do you think she’s here?”
  “I have no idea.” Christian shrugs.
  Taylor enters the great room again. “Mrs. Lincoln,” he
  announces.
  And here she is . . . Why is she so damned attractive?
  She’s dressed entirely in black: tight jeans, a shirt that
  emphasizes her perfect figure, and a halo of bright, glossy
  hair.
  Christian pulls me close. “Elena,” he says, his tone
  puzzled.
  She gapes at me in shock, frozen to the spot. She
  blinks before finding her soft voice. “I’m sorry. I didn’t
  realize you had company, Christian. It’s Monday,” she
  says as if this explains why she’s here.
  “Girlfriend,” he says by way of explanation and tilts his
  head to one side and smirks.
  She smiles, a slow, beaming smile directed entirely at
  him. It’s unnerving.
  “Of course. Hello, Anastasia. I didn’t know you’d be
  here. I know you don’t want to talk to me. I accept that.”
  “Do you?” I assert quietly, gazing at her and taking all
  of us by surprise. With a slight frown, she moves farther
  into the room.
  “Yes, I get the message. I’m not here to see you. Like
  I said, Christian rarely has company during the week.” She
  pauses. “I have a problem, and I need to talk to Christian
  about it.”
  “Oh?” Christian straightens up. “Do you want a
  drink?”
  “Yes, please,” she murmurs gratefully.
  Christian fetches a glass while Elena and I stand
  awkwardly gazing at each other. She fidgets with a large
  silver ring on her middle finger, while I don’t know where
  to look. Finally, she gives me a small tight smile and
  approaches the kitchen island and sits on the bar stool at
  the end. She obviously knows the place well and feels
  comfortable moving around here.
  Do I stay? Do I go? Oh, this is so difficult. My
  subconscious scowls at the woman with her most hostile
  subconscious scowls at the woman with her most hostile
  harpy face.
  There’s so much I want to say to this woman, and
  none of it complimentary. But she’s Christian’s friend—his
  only friend—and for all my loathing of this woman, I am
  innately polite. Deciding to stay, I sit as gracefully as I can
  manage on the stool Christian’s vacated. Christian pours
  wine into each of our glasses and sits between us at the
  breakfast bar. Can’t he feel how weird this is?
  “What’s up?” he asks her.
  Elena looks nervously at me, and Christian reaches
  over and clasps my hand.
  “Anastasia’s with me now,” he says to her silent query
  and squeezes my hand. I flush, and my subconscious
  beams at him, harpy face forgotten.
  Elena’s face softens as if she’s pleased for him. Really
  pleased for him. Oh, I don’t understand this woman at all,
  and I’m uncomfortable and edgy in her presence.
  She takes a deep breath and shifts, perching on the
  edge of her bar stool and looking agitated. She glances
  nervously down at her hands and starts manically twisting
  the large silver ring around and around on her middle
  finger.
  Jeez, what’s wrong with her? Is it my presence? Do I
  have that effect on her? Because I feel the same way—I
  don’t want her here. She raises her head and looks
  Christian squarely in the eye.
  “I’m being blackmailed.”
  Holy shit. Not what I expected out of her mouth.
  Christian stiffens. Has someone found out about her
  Christian stiffens. Has someone found out about her
  penchant for beating and fucking underage boys? I
  suppress my revulsion, and a fleeting thought about
  chickens coming home to roost crosses my mind. My
  subconscious rubs her hands together with ill-disguised
  glee. Good.
  “How?” Christian asks, his horror clear in his voice.
  She reaches into her oversized, patent-leather,
  designer purse, pulls out a note, and hands it to him.
  “Put it down, lay it out.” Christian points to the
  breakfast bar counter with his chin.
  “You don’t want to touch it?’
  “No. Fingerprints.”
  “Christian, you know I can’t go to the police with this.”
  Why am I listening to this? Is she fucking some other
  poor boy?
  She lays the note out for him, and he bends to read it.
  “They’re only asking for five thousand dollars,” he says
  almost absentmindedly. “Any idea who it might be?
  Someone in the community?”
  “No,” she says in her soft sweet voice.
  “Linc?”
  Linc? Who’s that?
  “What—after all this time? I don’t think so,” she
  grumbles.
  “Does Isaac know?”
  “I haven’t told him.”
  Who’s Isaac?
  “I think he needs to know,” Christian says. She shakes
  her head, and now I feel I’m intruding. I want none of this.
  her head, and now I feel I’m intruding. I want none of this.
  I try to retrieve my hand from Christian’s grasp, but he just
  tightens his hold and turns to gaze at me.
  “What?” he asks.
  “I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed.”
  His eyes search mine, looking for what? Censure?
  Acceptance? Hostility? I keep my expression as bland as
  possible.
  “Okay,” he says. “I won’t be long.”
  He releases me and I stand. Elena watches me warily.
  I stay tightlipped and return her gaze, giving nothing away.
  “Goodnight, Anastasia.” She gives me a small smile.
  “Goodnight,” I mutter, my voice sounds cold. I turn to
  leave. The tension is too much for me to bear. As I exit the
  room they continue their conversation.
  “I don’t think there’s a great deal I can do, Elena,”
  Christian says to her. “If it’s a question of money.” His
  voice trails off. “I could ask Welch to investigate.”
  “No, Christian, I just wanted to share,” she says.
  When I am out of the room, I hear her say, “You look
  very happy.”
  “I am,” Christian responds.
  “You deserve to be.”
  “I wish that were true.”
  “Christian,” she scolds.
  I freeze, listening intently. I can’t help it.
  “Does she know how negative you are about yourself?
  About all your issues.”
  “She knows me better than anyone.”
  “Ouch! That hurts.”
  “Ouch! That hurts.”
  “It’s the truth, Elena. I don’t have to play games with
  her. And I mean it, leave her alone.”
  “What is her problem?”
  “You . . . What we were. What we did. She doesn’t
  understand.”
  “Make her understand.”
  “It’s in the past, Elena, and why would I want to taint
  her with our fucked-up relationship? She’s good and
  sweet and innocent, and by some miracle she loves me.”
  “It’s no miracle, Christian,” Elena scoffs goodnaturedly.
  “Have a little faith in yourself. You really are
  quite a catch. I’ve told you often enough. And she seems
  lovely, too. Strong. Someone to stand up to you.”
  I can’t hear Christian’s response. So I’m strong, am I?
  I certainly don’t feel that way.
  “Don’t you miss it?” Elena continues.
  “What?”
  “Your playroom.”
  I stop breathing.
  “That really is none of your fucking business,” Christian
  snaps.
  Oh.
  “I’m sorry.” Elena snorts insincerely.
  “I think you’d better go. And please, call before you
  come again.”
  “Christian, I am sorry,” she says, and from her tone,
  this time she means it. “Since when are you so sensitive?”
  She’s scolding him again.
  “Elena, we have a business relationship which has
  “Elena, we have a business relationship which has
  profited us both immensely. Let’s keep it that way. What
  was between us is part of the past. Anastasia is my future,
  and I won’t jeopardize it in any way, so cut the fucking
  crap.”
  His future!
  “I see.”
  “Look, I’m sorry for your trouble. Perhaps you should
  ride it out and call their bluff.” His tone is softer.
  “I don’t want to lose you, Christian.”
  “I’m not yours to lose, Elena,” he snaps again.
  “That’s not what I meant.”
  “What did you mean?” He’s brusque, angry.
  “Look, I don’t want to argue with you. Your friendship
  means a lot to me. I’ll back off from Anastasia. But I’m
  here if you need me. I always will be.”
  “Anastasia thinks that you saw me last Saturday. You
  called, that’s all. Why did you tell her otherwise?”
  “I wanted her to know how upset you were when she
  left. I don’t want her to hurt you.”
  “She knows. I’ve told her. Stop interfering. Honestly,
  you’re like a mother hen.” Christian sounds more resigned,

  and Elena laughs, but there’s a sad tone to her laugh.
  “I know. I’m sorry. You know I care about you. I
  never thought you’d end up falling in love, Christian. It’s
  very gratifying to see. But I couldn’t bear it if she hurt
  you.”
  “I’ll take my chances,” he says dryly. “Now are you
  sure you don’t want Welch to sniff around?”
  She sighs heavily. “I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm.”
  She sighs heavily. “I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm.”
  “Okay. I’ll call him in the morning.”
  I listen to them bickering, trying to figure this out. They
  do sound like old friends, as Christian says. Just friends.
  And she cares about him—maybe too much. Well, who
  wouldn’t, if they knew him?
  “Thank you, Christian. And I am sorry. I didn’t mean
  to intrude. I’ll go. Next time I’ll call.”
  “Good.”
  She’s going! Shit! I scamper up the hallway to
  Christian’s bedroom and sit down on the bed. Christian
  enters a few moments later.
  “She’s gone,” he says warily, gauging my reaction.
  I gaze up at him, trying to frame my question. “Will you
  tell me all about her? I am trying to understand why you
  think she helped you.” I pause, thinking carefully about my
  next sentence. “I loathe her, Christian. I think she did you
  untold damage. You have no friends. Did she keep them
  away from you?”
  He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.
  “Why the fuck do you want to know about her? We
  had a very long-standing affair, she beat the shit out of me
  often, and I fucked her in all sorts of ways you can’t even
  imagine, end of story.”
  I pale. Shit, he’s angry—with me. I blink at him. “Why
  are you so angry?”
  “Because all of that shit is OVER!” he shouts, glowering
  at me. He sighs in exasperation and shakes his head.
  I blanch. Shit. I look down at my hands, knotted in my
  lap. I just want to understand.
  He sits down beside me. “What do you want to
  know?” he asks wearily.
  “You don’t have to tell me. I don’t mean to intrude.”
  “Anastasia, it’s not that. I don’t like talking about this
  shit. I’ve lived in a bubble for years with nothing affecting
  me and not having to justify myself to anyone. She’s
  always been there as a confidante. And now my past and
  my future are colliding in a way I never thought possible.”
  I glance at him and he’s staring at me, his eyes wide.
  “I never thought I had a future with anyone, Anastasia.
  You give me hope and have me thinking about all sorts of
  possibilities.” He drifts off.
  “I was listening,” I whisper and stare back down at my
  hands.
  “What? To our conversation?”
  “Yes.”
  “Well?” He sounds resigned.
  “She cares for you.”
  “Yes, she does. And I for her in my own way, but it
  doesn’t come close to how I feel about you. If that’s what
  this is about.”
  “I’m not jealous.” I’m wounded that he would think
  that—or am I? Shit. Maybe that’s what this is. “You don’t
  love her,” I murmur.
  He sighs again. He really is pissed. “A long time ago, I
  thought I loved her,” he says through gritted teeth.
  Oh. “When we were in Georgia . . . you said you
  didn’t love her.”
  “That’s right.”
  I frown.
  “I loved you then, Anastasia,” he whispers. “You’re
  the only person I’d fly three thousand miles to see.”
  Oh my. I don’t understand. He still wanted me as a
  sub then. My frown deepens.
  “The feelings I have for you are very different from any
  I ever had for Elena,” he says by way of explanation.
  “When did you know?”
  He shrugs. “Ironically, it was Elena who pointed it out
  to me. She encouraged me to go to Georgia.”
  I knew it! I knew it in Savannah. I gaze at him,
  blankly.
  What do I make of this? Maybe she is on my side and
  just worried that I’ll hurt him. The thought is painful. I
  would never want to hurt him. She’s right—he’s been hurt
  enough.
  Perhaps she’s not so bad. I shake my head. I don’t
  want to accept his relationship with her. I disapprove. Yes,
  that’s what this is. She’s an unsavory character who
  preyed on a vulnerable adolescent, robbing him of his
  teenage years, no matter what he says.
  “So you desired her? When you were younger.”
  “Yes.”
  Oh.
  “She taught me a great deal. She taught me to believe
  in myself.”
  Oh. “But she also beat the shit out of you.”
  He smiles fondly. “Yes, she did.”
  He smiles fondly. “Yes, she did.”
  “And you liked that?”
  “At the time I did.”
  “So much that you wanted to do it to others?”
  His eyes grow wide and serious. “Yes.”
  “Did she help you with that?”
  “Yes.”
  “Did she sub for you?”
  “Yes.”
  Holy fuck. “Do you expect me to like her?” My voice
  sounds brittle and bitter.
  “No. Though it would make my life a hell of a lot
  easier,” he says wearily. “I do understand your reticence.”
  “Reticence! Jeez, Christian—if that were your son,
  how would you feel?”
  He blinks at me as though he doesn’t comprehend the
  question. He frowns. “I didn’t have to stay with her. It was
  my choice, too, Anastasia,” he murmurs.
  This is getting me nowhere.
  “Who’s Linc?”
  “Her ex-husband.”
  “Lincoln Timber?”
  “The very same,” he smirks.
  “And Isaac?”
  “Her current submissive.”
  Oh no.
  “He’s in his mid-twenties, Anastasia. You know—a
  consenting adult,” he adds quickly, correctly deciphering
  my look of disgust.
  I flush. “Your age,” I mutter.
  I flush. “Your age,” I mutter.
  “Look, Anastasia, as I said to her, she’s part of my
  past. You are my future. Don’t let her come between us,
  please. And quite frankly, I’m really bored of this subject.
  I’m going to do some work.” He stands and gazes down
  at me. “Let it go. Please.”
  I stare mulishly up at him.
  “Oh, I almost forgot,” he adds. “Your car arrived a
  day early. It’s in the garage. Taylor has the key.”
  Whoa . . . the Saab? “Can I drive it tomorrow?”
  “No.”
  “Why not?”
  “You know why not. And that reminds me. If you are
  going to leave your office, let me know. Sawyer was there,
  watching you. It seems I can’t trust you to look after
  yourself at all.” He scowls down at me, making me feel
  like an errant child—again. And I would argue with him,
  but he’s pretty worked up over Elena, and I don’t want to
  push him any further, but I can’t resist one comment.
  “Seems I can’t trust you either,” I mutter. “You could
  have told me Sawyer was watching me.”
  “Do you want to fight about that, too?” he snaps.
  “I wasn’t aware we were fighting. I thought we were
  communicating,” I mumble petulantly.
  He closes his eyes briefly as he struggles to contain his
  temper. I swallow and watch anxiously. Jeez, this could go
  either way.
  “I have to work,” he says quietly, and with that, he
  leaves the room.
  I exhale. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath. I
  I exhale. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath. I
  flop back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.
  Can we ever have a normal conversation without it
  disintegrating into an argument? It’s exhausting.
  We just don’t know each other that well. Do I really
  want to move in with him? I don’t even know if I should
  make him a cup of tea or coffee while he’s working.
  Should I disturb him at all? I have no idea of his likes and
  dislikes.
  Evidently he’s bored with the whole Elena thing—he’s
  right, I need to move on. Let it go. Well, at least he’s not
  expecting me to be friends with her, and I hope that she’ll
  now stop hassling me for a meeting.
  I get off the bed and wander to the window. Unlocking
  the balcony door, I open it and stroll over to the glass
  railing. Its transparency is unnerving. The air’s chilly and
  fresh, as I’m up so high.
  I gaze out over the twinkling lights of Seattle. He’s so
  far removed from everything up here in his fortress.
  Answerable to no one. He’d just told me he loves me,
  then all this crap comes up because of that dreadful
  woman. I roll my eyes. His life is so complicated. He’s so
  complicated.
  With a heavy sigh and a last glance at Seattle spread
  like cloths of gold at my feet, I decide to call Ray. I
  haven’t spoken to him for a while. It’s a brief conversation
  as per usual, but I ascertain he’s fine and that I’m
  interrupting an important soccer match.
  “Hope all is well with Christian,” he says casually, and
  I know he’s fishing for information but doesn’t really want
  I know he’s fishing for information but doesn’t really want
  to know.
  “Yeah. We’re cool.” Sort of, and I’m moving in with
  him. Though we haven’t discussed a timetable.
  “Love you, Dad.”
  “Love you, too, Annie.”
  I hang up and check my watch. It’s only ten. Because
  of our discussion, I am feeling strangely innervated and
  restless.
  I shower quickly, and back in the bedroom, decide to
  wear one of the nightdresses that Caroline Acton procured
  for me from Neiman Marcus. Christian’s always moaning
  about my T-shirts. There are three. I choose the pale pink
  and put it on over my head. The fabric skims across my
  skin, caressing and clinging to me as it falls around my
  body. It feels luxurious—the finest, thinnest satin. Holy
  crap. In the mirror, I look like a 1930s movie star. It’s
  long, elegant—and very un-me.
  I grab the matching robe and decide to hunt out a
  book in the library. I could read on my iPad—but right
  now, I want the comfort and reassurance of a physical
  book. I’ll leave Christian alone. Perhaps he’ll recover his
  good humor once he’s finished working.
  There are so many books in Christian’s library.
  Scanning every title will take forever. I glance occasionally
  at the billiard table and flush as I recall our previous
  evening. I smile when I see that the ruler is still on the floor.
  Picking it up, I swat my palm. Ow! It stings.
  Why can’t I take a little more pain for my man?
  Disconsolately, I place it on the desk and continue my hunt
  Disconsolately, I place it on the desk and continue my hunt
  for a good read.
  Most of the books are first editions. How can he have
  amassed a collection like this in such a short time? Perhaps
  Taylor’s job description includes book buying. I settle on
  Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. I haven’t read this for a
  long time. I smile as I curl up in one of the overstuffed
  armchairs and read the first line:
  Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again . . .
  I am jostled awake as Christian lifts me in his arms.
  “Hey,” he murmurs, “you fell asleep. I couldn’t find
  you.” He nuzzles my hair. Sleepily, I put my arms around
  his neck and breathe in his scent—oh, he smells so good
  —as he carries me back to the bedroom. He lays me
  down on the bed and covers me.
  “Sleep, baby,” he whispers and he presses his lips
  against my forehead.
  I wake suddenly from a disturbing dream and am
  momentarily disorientated. I find myself anxiously checking
  the end of the bed, but there’s no one there. Drifting from
  the great room, I hear the faint strains of a complex
  melody from the piano.
  What time is it? I check the alarm clock—two in the
  morning. Has Christian come to sleep at all? I disentangle
  my legs from my robe, which I’m still wearing, and
  my legs from my robe, which I’m still wearing, and
  clamber out of bed.
  In the great room, I stand in the shadows, listening.
  Christian is lost to the music. He looks safe and secure in
  his bubble of light. And the tune he plays has a lilting
  melody, parts of which sound familiar, but so elaborate.
  Jeez, he’s good. Why does this always take me by
  surprise?
  The whole scene looks different somehow, and I
  realize that the piano lid is down, giving me an unhindered
  view. He glances up and our eyes lock, his gray and softly
  luminous in the diffuse glow of the lamp. He continues to

  play, not faltering at all, as I make my way over to him. His
  eyes follow me, drinking me in, burning brighter. As I
  reach him, he stops.
  “Why did you stop? That was lovely.”
  “Do you have any idea how desirable you look at the
  moment?” he says, his voice soft.
  Oh. “Come to bed,” I whisper and his eyes heat as he
  holds out his hand. When I take it, he tugs unexpectedly so
  I fall into his lap. He wraps his arms around me and
  nuzzles my neck behind my ear, sending shivers down my
  spine.
  “Why do we fight?” he whispers, as his teeth graze my
  earlobe.
  Holy cow. My heart skips a beat, then starts pounding,
  coursing heat throughout my body.
  “Because we’re getting to know each other, and
  you’re stubborn and cantankerous and moody and
  difficult,” I murmur breathlessly, shifting my head to give
  difficult,” I murmur breathlessly, shifting my head to give
  him better access to my throat. He runs his nose down my
  neck, and I feel his smile.
  “I’m all those things, Miss Steele. It’s a wonder you
  put up with me.” He nips my earlobe and I moan. “Is it
  always like this?” he sighs.
  “I have no idea.”
  “Me neither.” He yanks the sash of my robe so it falls
  open, and his hand skims down my body, over my breast.
  My nipples harden beneath his gentle touch and strain
  against the satin. He continues down to my waist, down to
  my hip.
  “You feel so fine under this material, and I can see
  everything—even this.” He tugs gently on my pubic hair
  through the fabric, making me gasp, while his other hand
  fists in my hair at my nape. Pulling my head back, he kisses
  me, his tongue urgent, relentless, needy. I moan in
  response and caress his dear, dear face. His hand gently
  pulls my nightdress up, slowly, tantalizingly until he’s
  fondling my naked behind and then running his thumbnail
  down the inside of my thigh.
  Suddenly he rises, startling me, and he lifts me bodily
  onto the piano. My feet rest on the keys, sounding
  discordant, disjointed notes, and his hands skim up my
  legs and part my knees. He grabs my hands.
  “Lie back,” he orders, holding my hands while I sink
  back on top of the piano. The lid is hard and
  uncompromising against my back. He lets go and pushes
  my legs open wider, my feet dancing over the keys, over
  the lower and higher notes.
  the lower and higher notes.
  Oh boy. I know what he’s going to do, and the
  anticipation . . . I groan loudly as he kisses the inside of my
  knee, then kisses and sucks and nips his way higher up my
  leg to my thigh. The soft satin of my nightgown rises higher,
  skimming over my sensitized skin, as he pushes the fabric.
  I flex my feet and the chords sound again. Closing my
  eyes, I surrender myself to him as his mouth reaches the
  apex of my thighs.
  He kisses me . . . there . . . Oh boy . . . then gently
  blows before his tongue circles my clitoris. He pushes my
  legs wider. I feel so open—so exposed. He holds me in
  place, his hands just above my knees as his tongue tortures
  me, giving no quarter, no respite . . . no reprieve. Tilting
  my hips up, meeting and matching his rhythm, I am
  consumed.
  “Oh, Christian, please.” I moan.
  “Oh no, baby, not yet,” he teases, but I feel myself
  quicken as does he, and he stops.
  “No,” I whimper.
  “This is my revenge, Ana,” he growls softly. “Argue
  with me, and I am going to take it out on your body
  somehow.” He trails kisses along my belly, his hands
  traveling up my thighs, stroking, kneading, tantalizing. His
  tongue circles my navel as his hands—and his thumbs . . .
  oh his thumbs—reach the summit of my thighs.
  “Ah!” I cry out as he pushes one inside me. The other
  persecutes me, slowly, agonizingly, circling round and
  round. My back arches off the piano as I writhe beneath
  his touch. It’s almost unbearable.
  his touch. It’s almost unbearable.
  “Christian!” I cry, spiraling out of control with need.
  He takes pity on me and stops. Lifting my feet off the
  keys, he pushes me; and suddenly, I’m sliding effortlessly
  up the piano, gliding on satin, and he’s following me up
  there, briefly kneeling between my legs to roll on a
  condom. He hovers over me and I’m panting, gazing up at
  him with raging need, and I realize he’s naked. When did
  he take off his clothes?
  He stares down at me, and there’s wonder in his eyes,
  wonder and love and passion, and it’s breathtaking.
  “I want you so badly,” he says and very slowly,
  exquisitely, he sinks into me.
  I am sprawled on top of him, wrung out, my limbs heavy
  and languid, as we lie on top of his grand piano. Oh my.
  He’s much more comfortable to lie on than the piano.
  Careful not to touch his chest, I rest my cheek against him
  and keep perfectly still. He doesn’t object, and I listen to
  his breathing as it slows like mine. Gently he strokes my
  hair.
  “Do you drink tea or coffee in the evening?” I ask
  sleepily.
  “What a strange question,” he says dreamily.
  “I thought I could bring you tea in your study, and then
  I realized I didn’t know what you would like.”
  “Oh, I see. Water or wine in the evening, Ana. Though
  maybe I should try tea.”
  His hand moves rhythmically down my back, stroking
  me tenderly.
  “We really know very little about each other,” I
  murmur.
  “I know,” he says, and his voice is mournful. I sit up to
  gaze at him.
  “What is it?” I ask. He shakes his head as if to rid
  himself of some unpleasant thought, and raising his hand,
  he caresses my cheek, his eyes bright and earnest.
  “I love you, Ana Steele,” he says.
  The alarm blasts on with the six am traffic news, and I am
  rudely awakened from my disturbing dream of over-blond
  and dark-haired women. I can’t grasp what it’s about, and
  I’m immediately distracted because Christian Grey is
  wrapped around me like silk, his unruly-haired head on my
  chest, his hand on my breast, his leg over me, holding me
  down. He’s still asleep, and I am too warm. But I ignore
  my discomfort, tentatively reaching up to run my fingers
  gently through his hair, and he stirs. Raising bright gray
  eyes, he grins sleepily. Holy cow . . . he’s adorable.
  “Good morning, beautiful,” he says.
  “Good morning, beautiful yourself.” I smile back at
  him. He kisses me, disentangles himself, and leans up on
  his elbow, staring down at me.
  his elbow, staring down at me.
  “Sleep okay?” he asks.
  “Yes, despite the interruption to my sleep last night.”
  His grin broadens. “Hmm. You can interrupt me like
  that anytime.” He kisses me again.
  “How about you? Did you sleep well?”
  “I always sleep well with you, Anastasia.”
  “No more nightmares?”
  “No.”
  I frown and chance a question. “What are your
  nightmares about?”
  His brow creases and his grin fades. Shit—my stupid
  curiosity.
  “They’re flashbacks of my early childhood, or so Dr.
  Flynn says. Some vivid, some less so.” His voice drops
  and a distant, harrowed look crosses his face.
  Absentmindedly, he begins to trace my collarbone with his
  finger, distracting me.
  “Do you wake up crying and screaming?” I try in vain
  to joke.
  He looks at me, puzzled. “No, Anastasia. I’ve never
  cried. As far as I can remember.” He frowns, as if
  reaching into the depths of his memories. Oh no—that’s
  too dark a place to go at this hour, surely.
  “Do you have any happy memories of your
  childhood?” I ask quickly, mainly to distract him. He looks
  pensive for a moment, still running his finger along my skin.
  “I recall the crack whore baking. I remember the smell.
  A birthday cake I think. For me. And then there’s Mia’s
  arrival with my mom and dad. My mom was worried
  arrival with my mom and dad. My mom was worried
  about my reaction, but I adored baby Mia immediately.
  My first word was Mia. I remember my first piano lesson.
  Miss Kathie, my tutor, was awesome. She kept horses,
  too.” He smiles wistfully.
  “You said your mom saved you. How?”
  His reverie is broken, and he gazes at me as if I don’t
  understand the elementary math of two plus two.
  “She adopted me,” he says simply. “I thought she was
  an angel when I first met her. She was dressed in white
  and so gentle and calm as she examined me. I’ll never
  forget that. If she’d said no or if Carrick had said no . . .”
  He shrugs and glances over his shoulder at the alarm
  clock. “This is all a little deep for so early in the morning,”
  he mutters.
  “I have made a vow to get to know you better.”
  “Did you now, Miss Steele? I thought you wanted to
  know if I preferred coffee or tea.” He smirks. “Anyway, I
  can think of one way you can get to know me.” He pushes
  his hips suggestively against me.
  “I think I know you quite well enough that way.” My
  voice is haughty and scolding, and it makes him smile more
  broadly.
  “I don’t think I’ll ever get to know you well enough
  that way,” he murmurs. “There are definite advantages to
  waking up beside you.” His voice is soft and bonemeltingly
  seductive.
  “Don’t you have to get up?” My voice is low and
  husky. Jeez, what he does to me . . .
  “Not this morning. Only one place I want to be up right
  “Not this morning. Only one place I want to be up right
  now, Miss Steele.” And his eyes sparkle salaciously.
  “Christian!” I gasp, shocked. He shifts suddenly so that
  he’s on top of me, pressing me into the bed. Grabbing my
  hands, he pulls them up above my head and begins to kiss
  my throat.
  “Oh, Miss Steele.” He smiles against my skin, sending
  delicious tingles through me, as his hand travels down my
  body and starts to slowly hitch up my satin nightdress.
  “Oh, what I’d like to do to you,” he murmurs.
  And I am lost, interrogation over.
  Mrs. Jones sets down my breakfast of pancakes and
  bacon, and for Christian an omelet and bacon. We sit side
  by side at the bar in a comfortable silence.
  “When am I going to meet your trainer, Claude, and
  put him through his paces?” I ask. Christian glances down
  at me, grinning.
  “Depends if you want to go to New York this
  weekend or not—unless you’d like to see him early one
  morning this week. I’ll ask Andrea to check on his
  schedule and come back to you.”
  “Andrea?”
  “My PA.”
  Oh yes. “One of your many blondes,” I tease him.
  “She’s not mine. She works for me. You’re mine.”
  “I work for you,” I mutter sourly.
  He grins as if he’s forgotten. “So you do.” His beaming
  smile is infectious.
  “Maybe Claude can teach me to kickbox,” I warn.
  “Oh yeah? Fancy your chances against me?” Christian
  raises an eyebrow, amused. “Bring it on, Miss Steele.” He
  is so damned happy compared to yesterday’s foul mood
  after Elena left. It’s totally disarming. Maybe it’s all the
  sex . . . perhaps that’s what’s making him so buoyant.
  I glance behind me at the piano, savoring the memory
  of last night. “You put the lid of the piano back up.”
  “I closed it last night so as not to disturb you. Guess it
  didn’t work, but I’m glad it didn’t.” Christian’s lips twitch
  into a lascivious smile as he takes a bite of omelet. I go
  crimson and smirk back at him.
  Oh yes . . . fun times on the piano.
  Mrs. Jones leans over and places a paper bag
  containing my lunch in front of me, making me flush guiltily.
  “For later, Ana. Tuna okay?”
  “Oh yes. Thank you, Mrs. Jones.” I give her a shy
  smile, which she reciprocates warmly before leaving the
  great room. I suspect it’s to give us some privacy.
  “Can I ask you something?” I turn back to Christian.
  His amused expression slips. “Of course.”
  “And you won’t be angry?”
  “Is it about Elena?”
  “No.”
  “Then I won’t be angry.”
  “But I now have a supplementary question.”
  “Oh?”
  “Which is about her.”
  He rolls his eyes. “What?” he says, and now he’s
  exasperated.
  “Why do you get so mad when I ask you about her?”
  “Honestly?”
  I scowl at him. “I thought you were always honest with
  me.”
  “I endeavor to be.”
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作者:佚名
章节:30 人气:0
摘要:序那些想获得精神分析知识的人们所面临的困难很多,尤其是缺乏一本适用的教科书可用以开始他们的研究。这些人从前可在三类课本中进行选择,但由初学者看来,每一类都各有它的缺点。他们可通过弗洛伊德、布里尔、费伦齐和我自己所刊行的大量论文,寻找他们的前进道路,这些论文不是依照任何连贯性的计划来安排的,而且大部分是写给那些对这门学问已有所知的人阅读的。 [点击阅读]
紧急传染
作者:佚名
章节:38 人气:0
摘要:1991年6月12日,这是暮春的一个近似完美的日子。天已破晓,阳光触摸着北美大陆的东海岸。美国大部、加拿大和墨西哥都在期待着阳光明媚的蓝天、只是气象雷达显示雷暴云团即将来临,估计会从平原伸向田纳西河谷。已经有预报,从白令海峡移动过来的阵雨云可能覆盖阿拉斯加的西沃德半岛。这个6月12日几乎在各个方面都与以往的6月12日没什么两样,只有一个奇怪的迹象除外。 [点击阅读]
紫阳花日记
作者:佚名
章节:18 人气:0
摘要:这可是一个完全偶然的机会发现的。实在是太偶然了。与其说是一般的偶然,更应该说不是单纯的偶然,而是好几个偶然的因素,巧上加巧碰在一起,就促成了这么件令人匪夷所思的事情。要说是促成,还不如说是完全没有想到的事情突然出现更准确。那天,川岛省吾也不知道怎么的,竟然会神使鬼差地躺在自己太太的床上休息。通常省吾都不在夫妻俩的主卧房睡觉,他在自己的书房安了一张床,平时基本上都在这张床上休息。 [点击阅读]
红与黑
作者:佚名
章节:76 人气:0
摘要:维里埃算得弗朗什-孔泰最漂亮的小城之一。一幢幢房子,白墙,红瓦,尖顶,展布在一座小山的斜坡上。茁壮的栗树密密匝匝,画出了小山最细微的凹凸。城墙下数百步外,有杜河流过。这城墙早年为西班牙人所建,如今已残破不堪。维里埃北面有高山荫护,那是汝拉山脉的一支。十月乍寒,破碎的威拉峰顶便已盖满了雪,从山上下来的一股激流,穿过小城注入杜河,使大量的木锯转动起来。 [点击阅读]
红字
作者:佚名
章节:24 人气:0
摘要:一群身穿黯色长袍、头戴灰色尖顶高帽.蓄着胡须的男人,混杂着一些蒙着兜头帽或光着脑袋的女人,聚在一所木头大扇子前面。房门是用厚实的橡木做的,上面密密麻麻地钉满大铁钉。新殖民地的开拓者们,不管他们的头脑中起初有什么关于人类品德和幸福的美妙理想,总要在各种实际需要的草创之中,忘不了划出一片未开垦的处女地充当墓地,再则出另一片土地来修建监狱。 [点击阅读]
红花
作者:佚名
章节:11 人气:0
摘要:贵志慢慢拉开她背后的拉链,让她的胸部更裸露,在洋装袖于被脱掉时,她还缩着肩协助配台。但,胸罩被拿掉的瞬间,她又不由自主交抱双臂了。虽明知终会被贵志为所欲为,冬子却不希望现在马上被碰触,至少,她要再多保留一些时候。三个月前的六月初,木之内冬子开始发觉在生理期前后有些微异的迹象。身高一百五十五公分、体重四十公斤的她身材瘦弱,对身体本就不太有自信,即使这样,最近几年却也从来没有过什么病痛。 [点击阅读]